Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She's the barista slut.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
