Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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