i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
