my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
