u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
