Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im holly from the hills drunk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
