id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
