well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
