I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've blown a few things in my day
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
