That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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