the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
