Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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