Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
