He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
