there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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