I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
50% drunk capacity currently
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
