id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
