I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
