i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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