it's like iHOP with fire
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
