i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
