The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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