i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
