So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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