Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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