I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
