There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I will be naked everywhere
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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