My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What a dumb baby whore.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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