Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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