We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
