Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He shit in the fireplace
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
