no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There r osticjed everywhere
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
