it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
