I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
