Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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