i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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