i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
