plz talk dirty to me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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