Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
