I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
