why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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