This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I supernannyed him into submission
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
