before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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