WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
