NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
