i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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