I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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