Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
