I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
