I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
