hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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